Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
