The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
