Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
