hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize