sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
