I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
