hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
