I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
