he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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