Whod you bang
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
