he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
