Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
