Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize