Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
