my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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