your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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