Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just had sex bonerless
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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