Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize