I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
