I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize