If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
