dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
