The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
