spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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