First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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