shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
