Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
