does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
