Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I bet he comes in French.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
