He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What drink are we having for lunch?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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