When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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