I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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