I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
