Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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