Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my poor anus
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
