The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
