They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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