For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
