Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize