Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
