You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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