i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
