so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
