Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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