is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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