I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
as a side note pls kill me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
