I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
