thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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