why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
