How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
