Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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