Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
