Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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