he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I am one with the molecules
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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