And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
