He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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