this beer tastes like vomit already
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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