today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
