My room smells like vodka and shame
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
