youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
