when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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