why didn't you poke me back
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
...so i touched it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
